


No longer

by zibanejad



Series: The call [1]
Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Hangyul needs a hug, I miss X1 :c, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sad, Sad Ending, x1 disbandment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22806478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zibanejad/pseuds/zibanejad
Summary: Hangyul tries to call his favourite hyung
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun & Lee Hangyul, Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Lee Hangyul
Series: The call [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1641463
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	No longer

Hangyul isn’t entirely sure why he calls Seungyoun. His finger had hovered over the icon for a few minutes, staring at the picture. In the selfie Seungyoun was smiling, his pearly whites shown off almost tauntingly. The sign of summer was displayed over his face as the suns soft light grazed his features. It was taken from their jacket photoshoot for their debut album. 

Hangyul chuckled to himself, it had been a long time ago. Everything seemed so far away as he laid in a hotel room with only one of his X1 members besides him.

He pressed the icon.

  
  


_**Ring** _

  
  


Hangyul had always been able to talk to his favourite hyung. Seungyoun would listen to his problems and while his advice wasn’t always the best, Hangyul knew he meant well. His hyung would always comfort him, giving him the physical affection he needed in his hard times.

But also in his happy times. 

The older man was there in every possible situation. He would be there whether Hangyul ran through the door with a smile or with slumped shoulders. Hangyul didn’t need to speak for Seungyoun to understand how the younger felt. He would just open his arms and let the man run into his arms with either excited blabbering or a soft sigh.

It had been like this ever since their debut. Them being roommates had gotten them closer than ever. Every night Hangyul would crawl under Seungyoun’s duvet and lay his cold hands around Seungyoun’s neck, while Seungyoun cursed at him even though he never moved a muscle. Laying beside the older man felt safe, like they could take on the world together.

  
  


_**Ring** _

  
  


Hands patted his back as Hangyul’s head was between his knees. He had barely noticed Seungyoun’s presence until the hands were touching him, guiding him back into his bed. The hands kept him safe and grounded as they tucked him into the bed. Hangyul’s mind was like a storm, his tears filling a whole sea and he was barely able to keep his head over the surface. 

It had all been so fantastic. The group had been on top of the world and that’s why the crash hurt so bad. The news about rigged votes had been spread all over the internet. It didn’t matter if it was

This time not even Seungyoun knew how to comfort the rest of the members.

  
  


( _“What if they think it’s me, Seungyoun-hyung?” Hangyul’s lips trembled. “Maybe it actually is me-”_

_ Seungyoun hushed the younger one and tried to smile as natural as possible, even though it was hard. _

_“The group hasn’t been rigged, Gyulie” Seungyoun caressed his hair. “Don’t worry, this will all blow over soon so just lay down and sleep for now.”_ )

  
  


_**Ring** _

It doesn’t blow over and Hangyul doesn’t know how to handle it. His body can’t stop shaking as he left the meeting held by CJ&M. His hands are cold and he just wanna hold Seungyoun’s for comfort, but the other man seems too busy taking care of the younger ones. Hangyul doesn’t wanna be a bother.

It’s only when they get back to the dorm, their now  _ old _ dorm, that Hangyul excuses himself. When he opens the door he realises a countdown has started, a clock ticking until he and his favourite hyung wouldn’t sleep pressed against each other.

On autopilot, he lays down on the bed but for once he doesn’t try to get comfort from Seungyoun’s bed. Instead he lays with his back towards the door so he can stare into the wall. He isn’t sure how long he lays there, mind filled with nothing but grey feelings.

It’s only when he flinches away from a hand pressed against his back that he realises his name had been called multiple times. It’s only then he realises sobs are wrecking from his body.

Hangyul doesn’t know how to deal, so he does what he knows best. He cries in Seungyoun’s arms.

( _“You can always call me Hangyul-ah,” his eyes were red from the tears he held back, but he tried to stay strong. “No matter what path we take in life, you are always welcome to stay in hyungs arms.”_ )

  
  


_**Ring** _

Hours turned to days turned to months.

He wasn’t sure who of them was the busy one. Seungyoun with all his photoshoots or Hangyul with his schedules with Dohyon. Maybe the blame was on both of them. All Hangyul knew was that he laid alone in a hotel bed, wishing to feel Seungyoun’s warmth close to him once again.

They hadn’t talked for a while, was it days or weeks? Hangyul wasn’t sure. All he knew was that every day he told himself he would call, but as the night crawled closer he couldn’t. The phone weighed too heavy in his hands. Seungyoun seemed to be so happy, his smile shined bright in his Instagram lives, maybe even brighter than that one photoshoot Hangyul remembered from so long ago. Hangyul’s mind would always be a turmoil as he thought about calling the older man. 

The sobs that echoed in the room was silenced by a fist in front of his mouth. Dohyon was laying so close, Hangyul could probably touch the younger boys cheek if he reached out. He quieted himself as much as possible.

He really needed Seungyoun’s calming words and the warmth of his hands. All he needed was the comfort of his hyung as his doubts were eating him away. Lately the loneliness had gotten to him and he didn’t know how to deal with it. He had Dohyon, but he couldn’t bear to show the young boy his own insecurities. This time he was the older one, he was the person Dohyon was supposed to depend on. He needed Seungyoun there for him, he needed the man who was always there for him. 

His hands shook as he tried to keep calm, 

But today he needed his hyung. He needed to feel like he had a purpose, that this all wasn’t a waste of time. His hands shook as each ring  _ buzzed _ in his ear.

  
  


~~**_Ring_ ** ~~

**_C L I C K_ **

  
  


After the fifth ring, Seungyoun had clicked the call off. The sound was so loud that he almost flinched away from the phone. Hangyul was left to wallow in his own pity wondering when his hyung turned into a stranger on the other side of a phone.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't mean to make this but I'm really sad and feel very lonely so I took it out on Seungyul. I wrote this in 1 hour so that's why it's so bad.. Sorry!
> 
> If you wanna scream at me my @ on twitter is JUNSOMEGASLICK


End file.
